Comparing your child to another is as harmful and hurtful as someone comparing you with the most ‘perfect’ super model in the world. It makes you feel inferior, worthless, inadequate and sad.
Every child is special and unique
Children develop at their own natural pace. It cannot be forced or hurried. Don’t compare your child to siblings or other children. Each child has their own level of success that must be celebrated.
Results driven parents
Parents often ask ‘how is my child compared to the top member of the class?’ or ‘ is my child in the top group?’ I NEVER answer that question in a comparative way and parents look distraught as they need to know that their little Johnny is in the top group. I urge you never to ask this question and try to train yourself against thinking in this way.
I encourage parents to think about their own child as a unique individual, not as a number or statistic. My response will always be diplomatic such as ‘your child is coping well at his/her level.’ Putting pressure on children has a negative impact on their development and education.
Does my child’s group matter?
In my opinion, no. As a teacher I do not particularly like ‘ability groups’. In fact many teachers, like myself, prefer to mix children around constantly to ensure no one realises who is top, middle or bottom. I ensure a mixed ability range in group work activities. This way the stronger leaders in certain areas can lead the others by example.
We as adults and guiders of our children need to promote confidence in our kids, which comes hand in hand with educational success. A child without confidence is a child without a chance. We need to celebrate and develop what they can do instead of getting hung up on what they cannot.
“Our mistakes and failures are always the first to strike us, and outweigh in our imagination what we have accomplished and attained.”